Episode 39 - Christmas

welcome to this special episode of the

wolf and the shepherd

we'd like to wish everybody a merry

christmas and so we

thought we'd get together and talk a

little bit about

christmas and happy annika

and well hanukkah hanukkah is already

over

isn't it yeah so you gotta say happy

belated hanukkah

yeah see it that's what happens when you

don't pay attention to this

calendar well so what's left kwanzaa

uh kwanzaa i can't remember when

festivus is

what stop what's festivus oh festivus is

from seinfeld

you know when you when you get the metal

pole out you have the airing of

grievances and the feats of strength

but i think festivus has already passed

as well okay

well that's just concentrate on

christmas that sounds like a plan

because obviously

we probably barely researched christmas

to begin with and if we get too far out

into some of these other holidays we're

really going to get confused

yeah uh well i went to

ychristmas.com and the reason i went to

whitechristmas.com was because i thought

what type of website why not what no

well i thought what type of website is

this going to be honestly

why christmas stuff yeah it could have

gone like a multiple of different

instructions it could have been like

i hate christmas why christmas right it

could have been

you know like super super evangelical it

could have gone

any direction but i clicked on anyway

you know why clips on it

why because it came out first in google

oh well that makes sense

so second in google was who christmas

and that was just basically

a site for the who's from the grinch's

old christmas

no it's an ad actually just trying to

sell me some christmas songs

oh okay which they did guarantee

delivery before christmas

day so i mean you know given it's only

four days away i thought was pretty good

and they had

twenty percent off now see see here we

go again you're letting out the secrets

because we're gonna release this two

days before christmas so we gotta

pretend like this is two days before

christmas

well i think it's tuesday before

christmas

that we're gonna release this uh maybe

it's like three

i don't know all right once again we

didn't research that

that well okay well anyway i went to

whitechristmas.com because why not

their definition of christmas which i

actually kind of agree with

is that christmas is celebrated to

remember the birth of jesus christ yeah

who christians believe is the son of god

the name christmas comes from the mass

of christ

a mass service sometimes called

communion or eucharist

is when yeah is where christians

remember that jesus

died for us and then came back to life

now i like that

all in a nutshell right there like 20

seconds you can either agree with it not

agree with it blah blah blah but that's

christmas

as most people understand well it

you know couldn't they have got away

with the whole jesus is the reason for

the season just had like

one little picture there and just been

done with it i mean a one-shot web page

go on godaddy it's like 10 bucks you put

a picture on there a little mean when

you're done

no i think the reason for that is um

like i said from that description they

had on the website

i think it is both informative in terms

of

explaining the background of why

christians

celebrate christmas but also giving

across a soft

evangelical message which isn't kind of

punching you in the face and asking you

to

donate 29.99 miracle

craig cloth or touching the screen to be

saved so

yeah i thought that was good i didn't

look at anything else on the website

but um you know there is some counter to

the whole christian

thing about christmas because you know

the pagans

get an early nudging yeah yeah they're

in nearly everything i mean whenever you

look at any holiday

anywhere in the world it's like but the

pagans that say

oh my goodness i mean these people i

mean

do you know i understand what the word

pagan means well

it's a non-belief in the abrahamic god

is it i think so i don't know i don't

care if i just thought you might know

um well we're gonna stick with that

definition well anyway they've got a

hand in everything

yeah so um you know with december 25th

the actual day we celebrate christmas as

christians

or around the world um

and also actually a bunch of the customs

we've come to associate with christmas

actually evolved from pagan traditions

celebrating the winter solstice

ah now which i believe the winter

solstice this year is on the 21st

well i wanted to introduce an immediate

stump the shepherd thing here

explain the winter solstice shortest

amount of daylight in the year in the

northern hemisphere is it yes

you sure yes 100 100

okay well uh according to the interwebs

it's the solstice the time date twice

each year where the sun reaches its

maximum or minimum

declination basically the longest

shelter stays as calculated by the gap

between dawn and dusk

yeah so so i think i think you explained

it easier

yeah yeah i i explained to you i mean

the summer solstice of course has the

most daylight

and the winter solstice has the least

amount why don't they just say that

yeah that's a lot of words to put on the

camera it is i mean like

the winter solstice this year is roughly

around december 22nd the reason they say

kind of

it's around is because um

you know obviously the planets and the

sun don't necessarily

follow our you know

24 hour a day you know roman calendar

system you know it might be a little bit

of an overlap

they don't have good wi-fi so they they

don't follow everything

they don't subscribe to the right

twitter accounts well i'll tell you what

this is the worst thing ever you know

like wikipedia right

which is normally my go-to for basic

videos yes

there is absolutely zero errors

what what would you think they would

describe if they had to do the most

basic breakdown of the winter solstice

uh i'm gonna go back with the

shortest amount of daylight in a day

yeah i've been even gone like

she was dying kind of shortest day

because most people little little day

my speech little is a shorter word than

shortest so

uh guy um

[Music]

anyway so so this is what they described

the win for solstice as right so like i

said wikipedia

my go-to i thought all right i've looked

up christmas

i'm looking up you know some of the

other stuff behind christmas

which was there a link on wikipedia when

you were looking up christmas to take

you to the winter solstice or did you

actually have to take that horrible step

and type into the computer into the

search thing to look up winter solstice

next

uh i don't know it just came up on the

screen

um so probably you didn't type it in

because if you'd had to type that in

you'd probably have to take a nap in

between no i did type in winter solstice

oh okay

so you took a nap in between i did yeah

anyway it says

this is their definition of the winter

solstice

as high emo

solstice that occurs when one of the

earth's poles

has its maximum tilt away from the sun

okay makes sense

yeah what about the flat earthers though

well do they sell breakfast i don't know

do they celebrate the solstices whoa

because that one's kind of hard to argue

with um

so anyway going back to christmas we

wish you a merry christmas

yep nice of all you're all unless of

course you're all atheists in which case

we

hope you celebrate one of the holidays

that has already passed

yep probably festivus now

you know growing up in england

christmas was both lovely and both

disappointing because we did so well

because we didn't have the commercial

power you have over here oh right so you

didn't have santa claus drinking a coke

petting the polar bear well we had santa

we had santa claus but it was like

almost a uh i don't know it's almost

like a communist version of santa claus

you know it's like yeah he's out there

he's delivering gifts and

you know he's got some reindeer one of

them's got a little bit of chip on his

shoulder and he's got red nose and stuff

and

you know if you all you get you know as

a bag of sand and your christmas stock

and then be grateful for it

you know um and that was it we didn't

have any commerciality

okay i mean that's the thing i remember

i obviously i guess in retrospect but

there was no commerciality

about christmas i mean you'd had like

christmas advertisements

and stuff on tv you'd have christmas

movies playing but it wasn't heavily

commercialized

and yeah so it wasn't like when uh

hershey's kisses for instance

have had the same advertisement for

years with little hershey's kisses

in the ring and the bell you know in the

and they're supposed to represent

each bell and they're playing we wish

you merry christmas and then all of a

sudden this year

they decide well we better change that

we might offend somebody

so it wasn't like that while they're

playing them i think they still have the

original version but now they have a new

version

i read something on the interwebs about

that

don't remember exactly what was going on

with it but

for the first time and whatever it is

like 20

some odd years they change the

commercial

just to you know throw some kind of

virtue

signal out there that you know they know

that

there's different stuff going on what

whatever it may be

but they change that i mean that there's

there's

talking about the commercialization of

christmas i mean there was always those

kind of built-in christmas commercials

that haven't changed forever there's the

hershey's kisses there's the one where

the guy comes home from i don't know if

it's college or whatever

and he goes in and he's making coffee

and the whole house wakes up because

he's making coffee and everybody you

know they open their eyes

and they're smelling and they smell the

coffee and they come down they're like

oh you're here you're home oh we're

happy and it's like oh

you know it's folger's coffee

there were two or three others like that

that you just saw

every year and like oh it's christmas

time because here's that commercial

again

and it literally they just regurgitate

them

every single year yeah same commercials

now i mean obviously hallmark and

uh you know other

brands organizations have pretty much

owned christmas for maybe

30 or 40 years or whatever and you know

a lot of the commercials you get on tv

around christmas time you know they try

and go

with this false kind of oh let's all be

lovely to each other

give you know give a gift for christmas

and all this but

everything is trying to sell you

something i mean there is no

there there is almost nowadays literally

no

christmas advert or anything where it's

not trying to

big up somebody or something some

company to try and sell you something so

when you say

when you started off when i read you the

definition of christmas when you say

jesus is the reason for the season

i really don't think that

anybody you know any tv network

or advertisement really pushes that

message no

it's not no they don't pursue the reason

for the season coca-cola is the reason

for the season

i mean it's not 20 off for next week is

the reason for the season

yeah uh black friday is the reason for

the season jesus

would love you to buy this 4k 72 inch tv

yes if jesus was going to buy a tv he

would buy this

specific tv from this specific store i'm

pretty sure he's got 8k

at this point and he's got the new xbox

series x

and he's playing like modern warfare

with 65 well that's an interesting

question

so is jesus is jesus playing an xbox

series

x or playstation five well i know

he's got both we we know he's got both

but but jesus likes one more than the

other one right so

so which is false i think you know just

for

the extra functionality well i think

because of xbox live gold

and also now with xbox with the ultimate

package where they bring in the uh

all of the games from the uh electronic

arts thing

yeah or the uh yeah what do you call it

backward compatibility

oh yeah i mean you know jesus christ

lego indiana jones

something like that yeah you almost feel

like xbox is sponsoring us

and man we love

you know jesus plays an xbox but sonny

if you want to send us a playstation 5

each not just one between us because we

live in different houses

i know some of our listeners sometimes

when they hear sporadic

clips of the show think we live together

we don't um

the shepherd has a wife i have a

girlfriend we both have

dogs which we're and we both have xboxes

other than that i mean god

and his good son the lord jesus christ

as an ex-boxer his ex

convinced us otherwise yeah um so so he

didn't get the series s

right i mean he wants he wants that

physical digital media or the physical

media putting it in there he's not

downloading his game

no i think he bought those ones for the

angels

yeah so he could just bless those by

turning water into wine he could just

bless the series

and say i will bless you well you said

nothing he said one is this home xbox

and the rest of them oh they're sharing

oh sharing that that's smart i

believe that was i i think that's in

like ephesians

yeah yeah something like that okay

yeah yeah that makes sense so so anyway

i know this is a

huge impact on the history of christmas

in england and europe

um a lot of the europeans

actually adopted you know the pagan

uh approach to christmas and like

festival of lights and all their stuff

you know they had the trees all the

lights go up giving you the gifts

yeah and again that goes back to

thousands of years

but the definition like we said at

christmas

you know it's really jesus is the reason

for the season

that's what we want to keep with it

because you know when it comes to

christmas music

it's not just talking about you know i i

don't remember

any hymns or music talking about pagans

it's not like

yeah no that's true i mean you you've

got your secular music

you know santa claus is coming to town

and then you've got your traditional

christian music

you know uh oh come on you faithful and

all those good songs right but yeah you

don't have any

pagan christmas yeah it'd be a hard

intro

wouldn't it yeah that would and and

let's be honest this song would be

terrible

well i mean you could you could get the

best songwriter

the performers it'd still be a terrible

song well i mean

especially if you go off that wikipedia

definition of the winter solstice

i described earlier if you're going to

base a song on that that's going to be a

terrible song

man that'd be a tough one to try to

write a song

or solstice i don't care well i think

you can do that

but i'm sure you could i think with

those we're not creative enough to write

i don't think with those lyrics coming

from wikipedia you can do it

i don't care if your muse or like even

if you're morrissey i don't think you

can come up

with a good no nothing about the tilt of

the earth

yeah it's not not gonna happen now talk

about music

i know you get like a big gushy girl at

some christmas songs oh sure

yeah and this idea as well and that was

a couple of songs you and i both share

which like

you know we love them and they make us

feel very christmassy that they all so

make us feel very

spiritual now sure there's a little bit

of an offshoot here

um our favorite christmas song

what is it what is it what is it

what is it

[Music]

oh holy night yeah yeah that one um

anyway

they played that um to a bunch of

atheists

see i see what i did there i made you

sing it

i didn't want to have sex i thought i

thought you always tried to stop me from

singing that

no they played that song to a bunch of

atheists and again this is

absolutely 100 science and if it had any

impact on their brain

right in terms of the dopamine and stuff

and when it hit that part in this psalm

whereas the fall on your knees that they

don't have the same response

you know in terms of people who were

actually christians

and stuff that they felt

the power of that music and they

actually did it in the english language

and played it people who

you know didn't know english but it was

just that

so yeah it's that meaning of that part

of the song

which hit people and it had exactly the

same reaction

in the audience whether you believed in

god or you didn't believe in god

yeah but but you know there's going to

be some scientific explanation behind

that it's going to be the frequency of

the sound and

this that and the other well they

actually disprove that

oh because they yeah they disproved that

um

that it was actually they switched the

lyrics

and um there's um i don't know if it's

pingu

or something european like a weirdo

yankovic version

basically well no it's some european

cartoon about penguin anyway they put in

lyrics from that

song in it but the people who were

singing it

when they recorded it well like it was a

choir it was a like practicing choir and

so they sang it with different lyrics

and the lyrics didn't make any

difference

but it was the intent and the faith

behind it

that seemed to have made the difference

and it was just a

you know obviously they buried that

study in picture

um but no there is something in very

uplifting music and i mean you know

christmas music

i mean most of my you know good memories

about christmas is about christmas hymns

as a kid you know a little town of

bethlehem

and all this stuff and that's that i

mean that's kind of what christmas means

to me i mean yeah we love gifts and all

that

but those type of you know that

i don't know that feel those songs those

hymns kind of really bring christmas

kind of home into your heart regardless

whether you're living under a bridge or

whether you're in a mansion i mean

there's

that connection when you hear those

notes when you hear that music

not only that but and of course you have

the comedy side of christmas you know

grandma got run over by reindeer

and all that stuff right but they they

don't

carry that same weight

as like you say that those traditional

songs those

those christian leaning songs now

do you have any atheist friends

who celebrate christmas well

in terms of celebrate if you mean

they're like go by the gifts

put up christmas trees yeah i mean

yeah i mean you have to i mean i

actually dislike the term atheist

because

that refers to somebody who has no

specific belief in the deity

or adheres to any of their like

teachings or whatever

but fair enough non-christian right

let's go with that yeah

yeah i mean i think most people even if

you describe them as

normal what we can see as atheists

celebrate christmas i think you have to

be

really on the other side of the fence

and be very anti

christmas to not celebrate christmas but

then even when you have

those people if they have kids and

they're kind of

you know i don't want to say normal but

whatever you know you want to

have your kids you know have the same

experiences

yeah the kids come back from christmas

break

and what are they immediately going to

do well what'd you get for christmas

you don't want your kid to be the one

that said oh well my family's weird we

don't celebrate christmas and you're not

not to say you're weird i mean i'm not

trying to offend the jewish population

or anything got a good friend who's

jewish and we love the jews

yeah absolutely but uh but there is kind

of that

part that oh you don't celebrate

christmas oh you did hanukkah oh okay

well what'd you get for hanukkah

versus you know

saying well we we don't do christmas

it puts kids in an awkward position do

you not think it's an easy cop

out though if you're not celebrating

christmas and

you put all the weight on santa you know

to bring you everything you want it's

like

sorry kids you don't have anything this

christmas yeah

but hey it's not mine or mommy's fault

but six centers so you know writing a

nasty letter is the address so i've got

it off the internet just running a bad

thing

hey somebody some of your friends got a

lot of gifts but you know why

because yeah well now you don't want to

pull that card because they're not

getting ready hang on hang on you're on

to something because

i just think i can figure it out yeah

but

no i think i figured out it's a way to

save a lot of money

at christmas time if i just don't buy

anything for my kids just blame saturn

and then i can just say well you weren't

good enough he must have been on the

naughty list

that's why he didn't get anything

they're not going to be mad at me

they're going to be mad at santa yeah

that's a win-win

i save a bunch of money they're mad at

santa claus

why didn't i think of this long time ago

i think

this might have been how the columbine

massacre happened

oh i don't think they went and bought a

trench coat and oh yeah well yeah that

is

well okay

yeah all right fair enough i won't do it

i mean you know how cheap i am

but yeah not worth the rest worse risk

for rewards

yeah anyway so gifts

right now you and i obviously have had

discussions before about

what type of gifts your kids expect to

christmas now

when you and i were growing up back in

the early 1920s

you know we were happy with the lump of

coal in our stocking

but also if somebody had made us a

wooden toy train we were happy with that

but nowadays it seems like people want

some electronic micro currencies

or console or phone games

yeah well not to mention they also want

those consoles you can't find at the

store

they you know they they want you to go

out

and try to find that hard to find toy

that

everybody wants that they're gonna play

with for two weeks and then forget about

i just find it kind of weird though what

we used to want for christmas

kids just don't want that anymore i mean

i i'm not talking about just because the

toys

are different but you know we used to

want

things where our imagination

i guess drove the gift so if you got a

train set

you know you got like lego or you got

like you know gi

joe and stuff it's because we created

when we got those gifts as kind of well

they were props

yeah they were but it was that

imagination which

drove it but now they just want a gift

card for

e-bucks or v-bucks and stuff and it's

like

well yeah happy christmas i know this is

what you wanted but i'm not entirely

sure i might have well

just handed you a 20 note i mean what

yeah and

you're gonna blow it on some kind of

in-game

purchase that you're going to get sick

of in

a day you want to buy a skin on

fortnight yeah

and now you have nothing to show for it

three months from now or

let's be honest three days from now

because you're gonna get sick of it but

do you not think that's the difference

that

nowadays kids want to get stuff which

other people are doing the imagination

for them whereas when you've got gifts

oh yeah

it was about our imagination right i

mean

uh star wars figures you know give me a

millennium falcon

so i can take my han solo and chewbacca

figure

i can put him in the morning falcon and

i can fly it around

and i can create my own star wars movie

and

you know live out all those things that

i loved about star wars versus

well uh here's some v bucks and now

you can buy a han solo character for

this game

and pretend like you're han solo in this

for three days

until you want to be you know name

somebody else and then you want to

buy that skin or whatever you were

saying on fortnight yeah i think

i mean you know obviously it's a

completely different generation and

a number of generations differentiated

from where we were but

yeah i don't think well obviously i

can't conceive the

opening a letter with a gift card in it

when i was like i would have made me

that ecstatic

right you know yeah you would rather

open that

package and had some kind of physical

idea i'd rather add an

ill-fitting t-shirt yeah yeah give me

socks and underwear give me something

just don't give me a v-box thing i mean

where's the i just don't get

the i guess the reward principle of kids

nowadays and also because they can get

these things all the way through the

year

um i i don't know what christmas is

special

in terms of well you know the gifts it's

not the gift under the tree because if

you get an envelope or

somebody's sending you an email it's not

the same as unwrapping a

shoebox wrapped in you know like this

lovely paper

and a ribbon and stuff and you open it

all up and you get out

something which you might not

necessarily want but

it was nice yeah but nowadays like

v-bucks in a freaking envelope or

through an email i just don't think it's

the same experience

and you also don't have that shortly

after christmas when you

go visit your friends and say hey you

know check out my new shoes look here's

my new jacket

here here's my new millennium falcon now

here's my new

whatever hey come over and play with my

train set that i got

you know it's like oh you know log on to

xbox and

and look at my skin on four yeah now now

i've got oh my gosh

yeah but oh oh it must have to be you

because i had that three months ago

but i've already moved on from that i

bought this new one you should get more

v bucks so you can get this

yeah that's where we're at now yeah i

mean

that is a good thing because the measure

a lot of the time when we were small

small young midgets

um going to school um was it

you know you used to be able to boast

about what you got for christmas or you

used to tell your friends what you got

for christmas

and you'd listen to what they used to

have to say unless you know whatever

but the point is now it's like if

everybody's just going in and it's like

you know i want some leave up so i got

some feedback so yeah about this you

know yeah

yes i i don't know it just seems this

negative reward system with kids now

that

they kind of lose what it means to look

forward to something i think because i

used to

you know write from my birthday's in

september whatever but

i used to look forward to christmas like

oh maybe i'll get this and

yeah something physical well you know

you had your christmas styles

yeah but you said i you know i'm gonna

ask for ten things

yeah i wonder which one or two or three

or four of these

ten things i'm actually gonna get and

you open that gift and you realize hey

there's

a package of socks in here and it's like

oh well that wasn't on my list

but i'm still all right i needed socks

whatever

and then you open the next one in the

next one and the next one and you

are you have that mental picture of that

list in your head

of those things that you asked for and

you're like okay well i

i got this this this and this i didn't

get these things but you know what at

least i've got these things

and i really wanted those yeah i think

it's too clinical in terms of reward

nowadays because i mean even if like

you know i mean you've got what is it

like 14 kids

uh that i know of right

well the point is i mean like even if

you take your favorite one and i know

you do have a favorite

yeah yeah i do and you gave them

a 9 000

gift card for xbox live

right i i know

there's a kind of an appreciation i've

got this gift and blah blah i can go on

xbox live and buy some stuff

but it's not it can't be the same as

when you physically get in that train or

that gi drone no it's not nitro

yeah gi dro dro yeah him

um it it can't be the same experience

but the point is i can't relate to kids

anymore

just getting this electronic stuff yeah

i just

you know when i had a physical toy in my

hand

it meant something to me you know i can

hold it up i could feel it it's tactile

but i just

can't understand how they get this do

you also feel like

when you got a toy for christmas

versus getting a toy any other time of

the year you almost treated it better

yeah because you looked forward to

getting something and it's

you fell you know you said i got this

for christmas yes

i got this for my birthday something

like that it it

you almost took care of it more well let

me ask you this what was the favorite

gift you ever got for christmas

growing up ah well honestly a lot of

that depends on age

because one of my most memorable

memorable gifts that i got

members

[Music]

was when i was little i got an

r2d2 toy box it was

just as big as r2d2 but his head came

off

and it was a toy box and you put all

your other toys inside of it

you know particle board just the r2d2

had a

basically a label around and made it

look like r2 had wheels on the bottom

i love that thing i put all my toys

inside it and i'd roll it around and i

as a young kid thought i've got r2d2

in my room i mean he looked vaguely like

r2d2

but you know it wasn't autonomous or

anything like that

still have it today and i know you've

seen it it

you know i i still have that stored at

my parents house i

loved that thing dearly loved that thing

and had it in my room forever

getting a little bit older i think my

favorite christmas present was probably

my valentine one radar detector

when i had just turned 16

and i asked for a valentine one radar

detector

for christmas and i got that and uh

sucker saved me from a lot of tickets

right let's

be honest save me from a lot of tickets

years later

got my car broke into and got a stolen

but that thing saved me

from a lot of tickets now you remember

back in our time travel episode

my absolutely lame reason for why i

would actually like to have

time travel that as i would go back in

time and

accidentally touch my own economic

teacher's booth

yeah um well um my

christmas memory in terms of

best gift i can't remember how old i was

but it was like an army jeep

and there were like four soldiers in it

but you could crash it into something

and they would all fall out the jeep

which

sounds super lame all right but

i think that was yeah i mean i remember

that just being my favorite

thing it's just basic tactile you know

toy which you know had four soldiers in

this jeep

and you know once when's the last time

you saw that jeep

several years ago

no you have it in the car right now yeah

yeah i do a

stoplight yeah um but no i mean it's

just one of those things it's like it

wasn't a

super fantastic you know

gift but it's just a memory from

christmas i was delighted to have it

and for days and weeks and months

afterwards so i was delighted to have it

and i wanted it for christmas

you know my parents got it for me for

christmas and i loved it

yeah but like i said if somebody buy i

just can't imagine being a kid now and

somebody buying you a roblox

gift card and you're being excited as i

was getting that g

sure well in in going to the way you

asked me

i like the rtdt toy box more than i did

the valentine one radar detector right i

mean

i don't have the valentine one radar

detector anymore it got stolen

i still have the r2d2 toy box yeah i

mean i

i love that thing and i just saw it last

week

and i'm like and i remember just playing

with that thing all the time i mean that

that was a staple

for me right i know my mom has a picture

me

you know christmas morning with that

thing sitting

right next to the christmas tree because

santa claus brought that

yeah you know and uh i'm sure my parents

probably thought well this will

you know keep the room a little

organized he can put stuff in here

and now there won't be stuff laying all

around so it worked out

you know on both sides but man i love

that toy box

still to this day about the story is

giving birth to a

weird thought how bad would it be like

i know when you and i were growing up

you know we didn't have you know iphones

and all this stuff but you know we were

relying

upon you know the whole kodak thing

disposable cameras

and everything else you know so

a lot of people our age don't have

necessarily that many photos of them

right when they're young you know

whereas like with my son i've already

got like about 6 000

photos of him and he's you know seven

you know every time he turns his head in

a different direction it's like oh

thought it would take that one and keep

it um

but imagine the disappointment

if that technology was available back

when you were growing up

and then you suddenly asked your mom

like

okay can you show me some photos of when

i was young and she only had like about

a dozen photos

yeah oh you cared that much did you yeah

that was it so you got a dozen photos so

you got one of me when i was born

yeah one of you when it got me home the

first time i was bitten by a dog

you know sixth birthday a couple of them

and then

sit until i graduate high school yeah

here's here's the one where i

fell off a horse yeah and broke my arm

yeah and there was one at the doctor's

office when

i was getting the cash yeah and then

there's my graduation photo which

you were so cheap you didn't actually

buy the graduation phone you didn't

take the photos somebody ordered it it

says proof

and you just took the picture didn't

even remove the watermark you know that

when they send the email like you can

have this say yeah just

pay this and you can move the walmart

now i'm just going to screenshot well

to be you know 100 honest in my parents

house there are

three pictures of me that are proof

photos that have

proof stamped through it like with a

little hole punch

that my mom has framed because those

were the proof photos that she didn't

want to buy

but those were good enough and she just

put those in frames now do you remember

do you remember that episode of friends

where i think

phoebe met a real mother

so so so let me stop here no i don't

remember that episode

i do not like that show i do not know

well

i don't okay but they were stock photos

like my mom

and mom was like oh this is like auntie

carol and all this

it's like it was literally yeah but

anyway

but um we never go off-topic

i know this makes it a rarity um

commercialization which i think that's

going to be a great spelling word in

words of friends of ours

i thought we already went over that

didn't we no we talked about it earlier

did we yeah because i asked you maybe

i'm going to go back and listen to that

memory now podcast we did because yeah

my memory no no because remember i asked

you to look if i spelled it correctly

yeah um it's a commercialization which

72 letters in there um

do you think that christmas is

so commercialized that it will never

recover to get back to the message of

the reason for the season

yes 100 yes all right well that one's

over all right

so in the age of kobe in the asian code

which we didn't want to bring up and i

know we haven't mentioned kobe in

any previous podcast not even the one on

vacations we didn't mention

yeah i don't think we did yeah i'd have

to go back in time and

try and visit that well on our last

podcast about time travel we know that's

not possible so uh

um so anyway about the

uh i'm so distracted well it depends how

far you've gone back in time but anyway

covered christmas uh

fauci whatever his name is fauli

yeah fau

yeah you gotta throw your lower jaw out

when you say his name yeah i'm just

saying

i'm just gonna go with a guy who looks

like a rat anyway he made this statement

about

him and his wife if he has one i haven't

seen him yet

um they're not gonna kept connect

with their kids this christmas he said

that you know it's safer if you know

they have a

distancing christmas like a zoom

christmas yeah

yeah or any other uh remote

platform range if you want to sponsor us

to get ahead of zoom we will gladly uh

email us at the shepherd

gmail.com anyway he said right

that he's not going to see his own kids

at christmas

because the covert now

could he not ask him to get tested or

him and his wife get tested

and then just i don't know just maybe

meet up for christmas i don't know

because i feel like this candidate that

seems too logical though

for this council christmas thing i mean

that's it's gone too far i mean capsule

thanksgiving you know what

there are a lot of people who want to

avoid a lot of relatives that

thanksgiving yeah and there's been cause

you get the drunken i would have yeah i

would have liked to have canceled

thanksgiving for less reasons than uh

but um you know when it comes to

christmas when you talk about yeah we're

not gonna meet up with our own kids at

christmas i mean

are you gonna do anything differently

this christmas with your like

i think yeah 22 kids and yeah you know

your parents live in like

yes what are you doing differently yes

we are

because because and see

i'm gonna hit you with a curveball

because i haven't told you this yet

in the age of covid that we're in

every year we get together with my

wife's sister and her husband and her

two kids

and our kids and everything and we do

christmas we do a little secret santa

where all the cousins they exchange

names they

buy them you know a present and all that

but but

the brother-in-law the sister-in-law

and the daughter have got the copied

they've got the covet so now they're

quarantining they're saying no

no can't be around anybody y'all can't

come over we're not gonna go anywhere

uh let's you know talk about doing a

zoom

thing let's talk about this so this will

be the first year that we don't all get

together

because three of the four of them three

of the four

have got cobia the fourth magically

doesn't have it

even though blue's in the same house

touches all the same stuff

doesn't wear mask in the house nothing

one of those four

doesn't have the coved but the other

three do so

now we're not going to be able to do

that this year you know at this point

though

i know i gotta be honest i'm not i'm not

i'm i'm okay i'm okay if it's i'm okay

if it's not you

that'd just be you and three of your

kids not the oldest

one and it just be you and the three

boys just watching star wars movies

yes yeah pretty much that'd be it in

eating good food

right yeah don't don't leave the food

part out yeah yeah yeah so i mean that

would be it so now don't give me that

so i mean i know there's a lot of

families that probably not that annoyed

they can't connect raptors but i thought

that whole

council christmas you know this apparent

you know head or genius of

um viriology viral

inferior verbs

you know i i kind of feel bad for my

brother and sister-in-law

you know i do like hanging out with my

brother-in-law and sister-in-law and

everything but

if they got to the point where

you know they've tested positive for the

covid and everything and this is what's

going to happen and now we have to

quarantine we have to do all this it's

like

look there's ways around this you know

we it's not like

we're the type family that hugs on each

other and

really gets around each other for that

matter

you can figure out a way to still do it

in person

you you really can let's be honest you

don't have to do

the remote stuff you don't have to hide

from

anybody um we could do it

now yeah this is right now maybe

24 hours from now this changes but i

just found out this

information literally last night so that

this is where we're at right now yeah at

the same time

i will say i'm disappointed in them

because they got a cat for christmas

yeah is it in the mail

i don't know i've seen a picture is that

where you got

actually you've mentioned this now like

at least half a dozen times how much you

hate cats

now you got something or your wife got

something called

is it a sassy cat or something which was

like the most expensive cat on the face

of the planet

yeah anybody in the through the mail

anybody in their right mind

would have gotten this cat for free but

she went to the

um sassy cat thing and paid through the

nose

for this cat and yes i don't like cats

so

have you bought it a christmas outfit

because i wanted to get on a little bit

about

buying pets christmas outfits dressed

outfits

no outfit no but i've heard

that the wife did go buy the cat's

christmas presents

oh with the stress

or just from her oh no just from her

i know but that isn't that depressing

well i mean there's there's children

starving around the world

but we buy cats christmas presents

just makes you want to jump in front of

traffic right but

well i mean for your cat for christmas

i mean give it it's not got any

extinction glossone

uh could you not just punch it in the

face and say that's from santa

i could dress up like sam you could and

they just because cats are done

they're not gonna know the difference

right so i couldn't dress up well we

think we've covered that in the podcast

for autism they have no uh

they they disassociate cause and effect

so yeah

they're just gonna think study being

mean again

let me uh give me that pen down and make

a

note of this of uh

[Music]

so that's from mommy you know what i

shouldn't even write this down i should

actually set a reminder in my

phone because i might lose this piece of

paper i'm going to go ahead and do that

so uh entertain our listeners here while

i

type this in all right well i have some

issues for center

now we've got to this point in podcast

um

i'm gonna add you to my reminder by the

way so in case

i'm away from my phone you can text me

and remind me to dress up as santa claus

and punch the cat

into the cabinet face

and safe well we've done nothing else

this christmas

uh we've

told people that violent skanks domestic

pets is acceptable as long as it's in

the christmas spirit

yes that's one way to look at it and

when i say if we've done nothing else

this christmas we haven't done anything

else this christmas but again i want to

go back to saturn yes

let's get back what was your earliest

thoughts on santa claus

i never bought into it well even when

you were like

three or four i've never bought into it

so

hey you go away now i know you're

colorblind so i know the whole

thing do you see red i do i do i know

it's ripped in blood i mean i'm not

talking around i know it seems wearing a

red suit

but i never bought into santa claus

that much it just never made sense

because i as a young young kid

i didn't like the whole uh sit on

santa's lap and tell sam what i wanted

for christmas

didn't like writing a letter to santa

claus

uh i just always told my parents what i

wanted and it magically happened

and you know when i was kind of young

i'm like hang on a second

you know whenever i'm out of school my

parents didn't really care how late i

stayed up but man they

really cared on christmas eve so

you know i put two and two together you

know a long time ago and just kind of

floated along almost for my parents

of yeah i still believe in santa claus

and

all that stuff just to kind of keep them

happy so to speak

yeah no which let's be honest

you you always want your kid

to be not the first one

that figures out about santa claus but

definitely not the last one right it's

got to be somewhere in between and man

that

you don't want to be the african funny

you don't want to be the idiot yeah yeah

that

in between is so tricky especially

nowadays

now i know your dad pretty well and i

think he would have

if he could have gotten away with like

passing blame on

santa claus i think he would have done

it like have you ever watched oh

absolutely if you'd have one specific

christmas and it'd be like yeah santa

claus didn't come through

yeah no no he would have yeah

and he would have probably put a

political spin on it too because

santa voted a certain way and that's why

this didn't happen

yeah now um to end with which isn't the

typical way you end on uh

christmas podcasts

i've always been slightly infatuated or

attracted

to females wearing nice miss santa claus

outfit there is why is that there's

absolutely nothing why is that

why do you think that is i mean from a

you know i know you have absolutely no

qualifications whatsoever in terms of

you know psychology but why would you

say that

a lovely looking lady in a center outfit

arises my interests well because she is

there

to give you what you want when i she

was why wouldn't she be

yeah but it was like but but you know

she's married to fatty you can

travel like fast and spend like no okay

so so you're confusing me a little bit

you're not talking about

really mrs claus yeah you're talking

about you're talking about a woman that

is

dressed up kind of like mrs claus but

isn't trying to

represent mrs clark i'm not going on

craigslist i'm talking about

ah are you not really though are you

though no

not for that oh um no i'm talking about

i don't know what it is about women

dressed in

not scantily necessarily but in nice

while right yes but um you know

santa claus outfits what does that

trigger in your brain

what gap is there maybe in your psyche

or whatever

that makes you think i mean just like

the whole naughty nurse saying

everything else and

blah blah blah why is mrs santa claus

getting drugged into this

well i guess it's the same reason why

you have the halloween outfits

you know you've got the naughty the

naughty cop you've got the naughty

firefighter you got all of that stuff

and then you got christmas time

where it's like okay you've only got

like two or three things to kind of

dress up as you can be a

mrs claus you can be a snowman you can

be a reindeer

i've never seen a sexy snowman to be

honest oh snow woman

uh you're searching the wrong sites

but you

you left out one thing with christmas

that we gotta talk about and this it and

i know you wanted to end on

on the mrs clause but i want to end on

something else

i have a serious problem with the elf on

the shelf

yeah i i

look back to our back in time episode or

our time travel episode and you'd ask me

you know what would you change is that

before or after the outside

i don't remember okay but

i hate the elf on the shelf oh i hate it

i hate reading the book every year i

hate moving that elf

every night i i hate

the posts on facebook of oh look what

our elf

did and all that i hate

the elf on the show so i would like to

congratulate

canadians whoever came out because

because i i did hate canadians but now

i need you all to know i hate the elf on

the shelf

more than canadians and cats

canadians and cats uh second third place

still undetermined but elf on the shelf

i cannot wait until my youngest is too

old for that because

i do not like that thing

that is the worst newer

christmas tradition that is anybody's

came up with i

i'm sorry i just do not like the elf on

the shelf

i just want to make a comment at this

point because the shepherd has mentioned

this

in i think at least four or five

podcasts now

i actually quite like a lot of canadians

mainly the ones who play ice hockey yeah

i like wayne gretzky

yeah we like ice hockey i like ice

hockey we like ice hockey um

i like maple syrup yeah i think the ones

we don't like and that's pretty much it

uh the kind of non-descript

kind of ones you know just the ones who

don't really have any purpose because

let's be honest if you're not involved

in the process well

you're making maple syrup if you're not

playing ice hockey and you're not a

mountain

then what are you doing in canada well

but

really you're gonna put mounties in this

i'm gonna leave them out if you don't

play hockey

and you don't make maple syrup i don't

really have a use for you

let's put the mountains in there because

they do something what

ride around on moose and

right speeding tickets for people riding

reindeers

okay well fine i'll concede mounties

all right so they're the only ones that

get a pass

all right okay so it's not a complete

blanket of canada it's just people who

don't

play ice sockey right make the maple

syrup yep

they aren't mounties and they just no

don't sneak another one in no i gave you

the bounties no i'm sad

and then so that's pretty much it yes i

am okay i agree

i just want to get to that point so

anyway we would love

to wish all of our listeners a

very merry christmas if you're an

atheist just

suck it up buttercup you know don't get

offended by somebody wishing you good

stuff

because you know somebody told me happy

hanukkah

somebody told me happy kwanzaa i won't

be like

it's like just suck it up if somebody

wishes you well

suck it up yep yeah no i agree

especially with the intent behind it

yeah you know it and same goes with me

you know

if you wish me some holiday that i don't

believe in like

valentine's day if somebody says happy

valentine's day to me i don't get

mad i i don't like valentine's day

uh god i feel like podcasted

i cannot wait i cannot wait for that

purpose

you know i i i know special yeah yeah

we we're gonna have to take at least two

breaks during that i think

just to get up to go to the back i think

on that podcast we have to bring in a

woman

a natural woman not that i'm a gangster

this identification

right you need to bring you know have an

x chromosome

and a white yeah by the way yeah yeah

i agree even if she's angry i mean i

just think we should bring one in

what about a feminist on valentine's day

that might be fun yeah as long as she's

yeah yeah yeah yeah as long as she's

yeah

so she can improve what she's right yeah

all right makes sense

anyway well merry christmas everybody

thanks for all the support we certainly

appreciate it and we will catch y'all

on the next one