Episode 41 - Beards

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we're going to be

talking about beards

the first definition once again

the wolf has slid a piece of paper in

front of me and said hey

we're going to talk about beards which

we agreed upon that we were actually

going to talk about this but

i have no clue what the

first definition of a beard is

well i was more worried about the second

definition actually which is why i

thought we had to put in the first

definition because we might get

well i'm worried about the burst

definition

i mean a beard is a beard but now you're

not you're starting to confuse me

already literally i'm looking at the

computer we're 45 seconds in and i'm

already confused

a bit is a bid except when it's not bad

but what if it's a beard but not a beard

yeah yeah this is the trouble you get

guys

people why do you do these things to me

why why do you make things so

difficult for me to understand well

because people have started hijacking

normal words which we used without any

trouble whatsoever

for centuries and then they attributed

it to something else and now

now it can end up a bit dodgy if you

don't kind of uh

differentiate or explain exactly what it

is you're referring to so that's why we

had to call this the first definition

because

our audience might be very very

different if it was the second

definition

oh i think i might know where you're

going with this right i'll i'll i'll let

you

lead us down i'll do both definitions

and then our listeners can understand

what we had to

do in parenthesis but but just so i'm

clear

we're we're still talking about the hair

that you grow on your face right

yeah oh okay good good because i'm not

prepared for any other definition

right now okay well the first definition

a beard is the hair that grows on the

chin

upper lip level up cheeks and necks of

humans

and get this one and some non-human

animals

just said animals because like and other

animals or something and non-human

and other non-human animals i don't

quite know what that means obviously

um in humans usually only uh uh

how do you marathon say that word

cubesat yeah that's always sexy

or adult males were able to grow beards

um

some women with their pursuitism which

is a hormonal condition of excessive

hairiness may develop a beard now

that is one word her situation which you

do not want to type into google

because there's a whole kind of uh oh

yeah

yeah there's a whole thing not suitable

for work yeah kind of a website

because it's not just about hairy faces

do not type that word in

yeah i have to clear my entire life set

history

you had to format your hard drive let's

be honest

you got scared yeah actually i put it in

a dumpster and go to best buy and buy

another one um

but yeah so don't look up that word her

suitism just take my word for it that

it's a hormonal condition of excessive

hair i mean we

we definitely don't want to spell it for

anybody yeah i'm looking to

uh look it up because we don't want to

enable that

yeah right it's terrible so the second

definition

which is one which we will probably

not do on a podcast but never say never

yep um just want to give a shout out to

the james bond movie never say never

again and also justin bieber and never

say never because as

uh and whoever is used to determine the

past

so okay i'll i'll let you have that one

i'm going to leave that one um a beard

is also a slang

term describing a person who is used

knowingly or unknowingly as a date

romantic partner boyfriend or girlfriend

or spouse either to conceal infidelity

or sexual orientation now i read through

that like half a dozen times and

still not sure understand it you know it

i i think there's a website out there

right now where basically you can be one

of those people

and get paid for it and not so good

yeah not not like a sex worker or

anything like that but uh

i think there might be some money to be

made there maybe we should

research that because digging holes

didn't work for us

and all the other ideas of making money

haven't worked for us so

so maybe we can figure out you know an

app or a website to

to be a beard i don't know if you

actually look up that second definition

that's also a sign that you should clear

your app wow

okay yeah it yeah it comes out awesome

yeah yeah let's scratch that

let's scratch that idea we're not doing

the second definition

not a podcast so um

one of the um latest definitions

which i actually read on the interwebs

was that beards the epitome and

culmination

or should be of what defines a man

so basically if you can't grow a beard

you're not a man

yeah oh so those hairy faced women with

that

condition where they grow hair yeah just

on their faces yeah let's not receive

the word

yeah we don't want to say that word

which is worth the hirsutism

yeah don't say that one again i won't

say that citizens are going through the

rest of this podcast but anyway

yeah it says um beards today this

are symbolic of male dominance

sexual virility and overall prestige now

i don't know about you

like you see a lot of um

[Music]

i don't know how to say this uh in pc

language

um those starbucks inhabiting snowflakes

with the

beards who i don't think hipster yeah

yeah not necessarily the anomaly of you

know male

dominance and blah blah so i think that

definition might have been written in

like 1955 or something probably because

it's no way that's reason

somebody was actually as lazy as we are

and just

dug something up and said now we'll plug

that in here

it might just be in person with a beard

who kind of wanted to

put a definition on there yeah send it

to his wife or girlfriend and say look

this is why i have a beard because i am

the epitome of

masculinity yeah so because i'll be

honest with you

whenever i have a beard it's because

i've been too lazy to shave i mean

as long as i've known you you've had a

beard

yeah i mean i've

i've had the mustache and goatee and

yeah that's what i always called it you

know mustache and goatee and not really

a mustache per se

but you know i've had the chin hair

right and i've always said i i can't

have this without

hair on the upper lip so i've had that

for years

right and then i decided okay well i'm

gonna have

you know some hair on the face and i i

come

from a long line of

men that don't have a problem growing

hair on their face

so i've kind of been blessed on that

because i know there's a lot of men that

would like to grow a beard would like to

grow a mustache

go tea blah blah right and they can't do

it right

and honestly there's nothing worse than

kind of looking at a man and you

say oh you're trying to grow a beard

you're trying to grow a mustache

whatever

you know that's sad because it

you've been working on that for three

months and that's what i look at

right you know after three days oh yeah

of being late yeah i mean i can grow a

beard in like

you know three days for some reason i

can't throw any hair on my head anymore

yeah particularly

that's because but you know it's

uh it's funny because i've actually seen

people

and they've colored in their face with

like um eyebrow

pencils or something on their face to

kind of fill the gaps

because they can't grow a beard properly

yeah and so they kind of

use makeup to make it look more like a

beard you know and it just sounds like

one of those uh

movies where you see some woman trying

to you know dress up as a man and they

just oh

i've actually seen guys who have had

that on their face

oh my mouth and i've seen people you

know in public it's like they can't grow

a beard and it's like

and i don't know exactly what type of

message it says because

a it's incredibly obvious right

and you know we go from this last

definition i read it's about

you know it's the epitome of masculinity

and sexual variety and all that stuff

it's kind of goes off in two different

directions without

that you're trying to prove you're a man

so much by using women's makeup on your

face

yeah make it look like you've got a bit

yeah it

isn't that just opposite of

what you're trying to like yeah yeah i

don't think maybelline they should be

involved yeah

girl should be involved in you having a

beard right you're robbing your wife's

makeup yeah kind of

darker hey let me borrow this

mascara and and just kind of darken

this up yeah yeah she beats the purple

yeah just use the lip gloss while you're

at it

absolutely yeah go ahead and put

eyeliner on

right yeah be emo let's just get it away

yeah

yeah you've got bigger problems now um

obviously bids have you know great

historical significance in terms of

uh symbolism and everything else sure

again

it was very entrenched in this

uh some i guess symbolizing masculinity

okay thing um ever

i was gonna say if i had more time if i

could have been bothered to look it up

i'm sure there's some connection between

[Music]

uh in terms of physiology the ability to

be able to grow a beard

and it's linked to your kind of sperm

count or something so they might

they may or may maybe that's the myth

maybe people who have yeah

it's easily you have a lot of sperm

count i don't know but it's always been

associated with

manliness having a beard yeah but

couldn't that go

back to where your family comes from in

in hereditary type stuff i mean

you know you're from the uk and in my

family

years ago you know they're from england

and

germany and everything i mean we're

hairy white people

right so you know yeah

i've got hair all over my arms hair all

over my legs

i i never thought i would have a problem

growing a beard because i got hair

all over myself yeah so it's

automatic to me but i i see some other

men that

you know they don't have hair on their

arms and barely any hairs on their legs

and

and they're trying to grow hair on their

face and it just doesn't happen yeah

and like you said for you or for me it's

kind of automatic it's

where your family came from where your

heritage

was and it's just it's automatic yeah

now it's um you mentioned that about you

know people who don't have much hair

really on anywhere on their body

um i can understand why swimmers and

cyclists you know they kind of shave

their legs i'm talking about the males

all right okay why they do it but

there's also i guess i don't know how

many years ago the term came out maybe

20 years ago whatever

the term metro of men would actually

trim

the hairs on their arms and on their

legs

oh kind of the manscaping yeah

i think that sound i can understand that

in certain regions but you know

on your arms and your legs so i mean i

haven't seen that many people

who are that gorilla like where i think

yeah you'd really look better

you know be kind of white yeah you know

trim those hairs on your legs i mean i

just don't

yeah no i don't get that either and i

also want to know what type of woman

you're aiming for who would be like

oh i love a man who you know trims his

hairs on his legs yeah yeah that

and by the way let's not forget not that

long ago

it was all about the chest hair right

it's like oh i've got hair on my chest

yeah

you know i can grow hair on my chest and

now all of a sudden it's like oh

let's get rid of that hair yeah you know

nobody wants hair anywhere well i'll be

honest with you i do trim

my chest hair and my armpit hair and

that kind of stuff because we live in

texas

you trim your armpit hair yeah we live

in texas dude we sweat like

nine months a year yeah but i've never

done that

oh really this is brand new information

well i have

never done that that that is that is

some crazy

yeah because i think on like on my great

great great great great great

grandfather's side

there was a wookie in there somewhere

yeah

i'm your great great great great great

great grandfather's side

he's saying why are you trimming your

armpit hair whoa

what is wrong with you son well you

shouldn't be doing this

well no i like it it has this wookie

situation going on wherever i don't

i feel like i'm always culturally

appropriate and

i could braid it i think

yeah you could put beads in there and

and be kind of decorative and then you

could dance around and

that might be entertaining yeah you're

still missing the point we live in texas

which also negates that

yeah but no i mean i have i mean

i guess it's just a continuation of like

trim in the chest hair and it's like oh

my armpits are right there i might as

well do that as well while i'm at it

but it keeps cooler in the summer you

know maybe i should try that

i mean i i've never done anything i mean

i've shaved obviously you know i've

shaved my face also treat my bum hair as

well

let's not get into that we wanted to

talk about landscaping mindscaping

no no let's be clear i never said i want

to talk about my hands

well i don't think i had any bum hair

until i was like

i don't know like maybe 25 or like

30 or something but again it's like that

unwanted hair which comes you know like

the the stuff on the top of my head

thought all right bye bye we're not

seeing you again yeah

again long gone for you and then the

ears were like hey

we like hair also then the bum started

getting involved

and it's like all of a sudden and then

then again then the backs like hey

hey don't forget about us just so we're

all

clear i have no hair on my back right i

have zero hair on my back i just want

everybody to know

you want to throw any hair i do not grow

any hair on my back

i have zero hair on my hair have you had

her sweetism

that hormonal condition of excessive

hairiness

maybe you would grow some hair on your

back

[Music]

i'm i'm kind of lucky because

i have you know when i was younger

my hair was very very blonde

i mean very blonde and then it kind of

darkened up as i got

older so a lot of people call me a

redhead or whatever but i'm not a

redhead it's

it's kind of a mix between a little bit

of red

mostly blonde you know a little bit of

brown

and then because of my kids there's a

lot of gray in there

but at least my body hair

is not super dark if i was somebody that

had

you know that traditional dark

brown hair i would look like a monkey oh

mine is

i have no no i haven't no it's my body

is when i used to grow hair in my head

it used to be

kind of like medium to dark brown then

as i got older

and the hair on the top of my head

decided it couldn't be bothered

the hair at the side of my head decided

to go like almost black

and you know obviously with my um you

know if i grow a beard

or rather just don't shave because

remember it's not the right

thing um but yeah the hair everywhere

else in my body it's like

black right so

you know i can't get away with like

you know not kind of trimming the hair

because if i

literally if i get undressed you know

and i didn't do any type of manscaping

or trimming i would look like one of

those animals i detest the chimpanzee

and i just want to punch myself in

facebook yeah

so well but you know i'm sure i would

too but at least my hair is lighter

so i guess it's hidden yeah a little

more i mean i i

am hairy yeah i mean i've always had

hairy legs

on my hair yeah but at least

the hair is light colored yeah so it

doesn't

look as bad yeah but but i've got a fur

coat

you know and that's why i guess i can

walk outside

in the texas winter when it's 40

something degrees which is

not that cold for a northern winter

right right and still wear

shorts and flip-flops and be okay

because i've got built-in insulation

but also there's a scene in texas it's

like you've got to pretend it's not cold

as well

so you know in december you're pretty

much kind of like if you're just getting

out of the car to walk

to a store or something you should be

wearing a t-shirt yeah you know

oh wow otherwise it's like huh move out

north

yeah exactly go away do you really need

that parking

long yeah that's right but um again i

was saying that

uh you know historically beards

you know have that kind of prestige of

masculinity

virility virality

i wonder if those two words are

different i don't think they're the same

word uh

we never say anyways yeah um but anyway

you know in in

ancient times in like turkey in india

when somebody had a long beard and we're

talking about a

long beard not like you know what's a

long beard

oh okay yeah you want to hear an

interesting

fact about the cz top no i don't really

uh well i'm going to tell you anyway

okay

so there's three members of the band

right

the two the the guitarist and the

bassist right they they're the ones with

long beards yeah

drummer doesn't have a long beard his

last name

is beard huh are they still alive

oh yeah yeah they're they're still out

there they're doing their thing

shout out to zz top i mean you know you

know good for y'all but

ironically the drummer his last name is

beard and he's the only one that doesn't

have

one of those famous beards yeah

incredible

the um oh yeah

sorry to distract you there so you have

to make me remember now what i've read

like

and now we're now we're thinking back to

uh back to the future three

that they were in that movie and and now

i'm thinking

i'm worried i can't remember that

because are you kidding

me yeah they're in back to the future

three they're

they're the band that's playing during

the little

uh party okay that's there yeah that was

easy to talk

come on son i can't believe some people

accuse us of going off topic

no we never do um but anyway

anyway in turkey and india right let me

remember this

um in india oh yeah if you have a long

beard in 1398 was considered

a symbol of wisdom and dignity right

so um in ancient greece

and we actually talked about this a

little bit when we were thinking about

doing beards for a podcast that

you know it's a sign of honor and

you know it's a little bit of a contrast

to some of the other cultures where you

know when you go

back to you know maybe the british isles

as such that if you had big beards like

you know the celts

you know the irish and the scottish and

stuff you were kind of like savages

because you have these big beards

um intimidation yeah and the you know

the romans i mean the ancient romans

preferred their beers to be like trimmed

and

kind of groomed and stuff and so

you know i guess that

kind of ideology with beards passed on

that you know

you had money if you could you know trim

a beard

you know whereas like if it was a wild

beard i mean i guess it's like now you

know you see somebody with a big beard

and it's completely out of control i

mean you look like a bomb in a way right

right whereas you know it proved you

were a man because you could grow a

beard but also proved you had

money because you could have to be a

trim for you

and uh and they were actually actually i

know

i know you asked me is there going to be

any stump the shepherd

in this and i should say no

no but that was not true

i said i knew i can't trust you well

that's right yeah so um

when do you think i've been like forget

about barbers in terms of hair but when

do you think the first

beard trimming barbers came about in the

world

oh man that's a tough one i mean

in the world in the world in the whole

world

so i gotta give you a year well even if

you get it roughly within

500 years i'll be pretty impressed okay

i'm gonna go

ancient egypt 2000 bc

no okay right it was actually italy

about 455 bc oh

i was close but i wouldn't have thought

you know really they're setting up

sharks

to trim beards to make money in like

455 bc that's kind of a long time ago

yeah so um they the barbers actually

came from sicily

and set up shop in mainland italy and

uh you know it was for

instead of it being a sign about

actually

wealth it was kind of the me it's almost

like the middle classes who had it done

because if you were super rich

you had slaves and your slaves would

actually trim

yeah i your beard about you i don't know

if i'd trust a slave with a

knife that my throat cut my beard well

it it reminds me of uh django unchained

right you know when when they have that

whole little deal about how

my father was sitting on the front porch

and uh whatever the slaves name was i

can't even remember

now but shaved him you know yeah once a

week or

whatever yeah yeah that yeah it's not

relaxing isn't it

exactly now you've got a bit nervous now

you go somewhere and get

um you go to our barbers and get your

hair done and

occasionally like you know they'll trim

your beard now the

you know the girl or whatever does your

beard you kind of

you can relax you can have a drink the

place you go yeah

um and just slay back there and relax

and have it trim but i do not feel

that i would have been that confident

back in the day oh no in italy

with a slave like no do my beard no i

want some

i need like at least a dozen people in

the room but even then i mean if you've

been that mean to that slave he doesn't

care does he

exactly you can be in why not let's

let's be honest

if you were in the slaves position you'd

say let me

just slap his throat yeah you know just

like having a bad day

absolutely yeah yeah um

now uh the lady who does your

beard stuff right yeah my hair cutting

girl

yeah does she do it like like just trim

us with a guard on it or

does she like oh no she she straight

with straight razor

the whole nine yards oh yeah yeah she

does a good job i think i kind of like

that experience but i don't know i mean

does she use a cut throat raisin well

i call it a straight razor i don't know

what what you're talking about about

cutthroat razor but i mean the the

literal you know the big

long blade right they hold with their

thumb and everything and do that oh yeah

yeah she does that the old school i

would i think i would panic the first

time i would just be like no

she's only cut me i don't know 17 times

right now i'm just kidding she's never

cut me actually

uh does a great job does a great job

yeah

now obviously given the time of the year

we can't ignore

the big guy with the beard oh we're

talking about santa claus we are talking

about sansa

that yeah the most famous beard-wearing

guy

ever yeah right i mean santa claus isn't

santa claus without

a big beard yeah can't beat santa claus

now

that does it for masculine steel because

he lives in the north pole and it's cold

as crap

i think he's lazy because he's got so

much work to do

to provide the toys he doesn't have time

to shave

and he doesn't have a haircut and girl

like i have

to trim his beard he's he's busy making

sure the elves are

making the toys so that's why he's got

the beard yeah

and it's um i guess

it's kind of quite funny that you know

you have

older guys who can actually have a

career

for a month a year because they're able

to grow those full big

bush oh white beards each year and go

out and be santa in malls and then

department stores and that

yeah well and you're seeing more of that

you know more recently um honestly i

haven't

been around to see a mall santa

because i mean we're in the age of

copenhagen right now

and there are

very few you know go sit on santa's lap

because are we going to put a mask on

santa oh

i saw photos like friends posted on

facebook yeah

their kids have gone to sleep and he's

wearing a full out it's kind of sad but

i mean when i was a kid

you know you went and saw santa he had

the fake beard

right but yeah like you say there there

are these men that

grow the the nice beards and everything

and they get them

you know dyed white and everything and

it's a real

beard they put the little glasses on and

you know probably you're not putting the

pillow

in the santa suit because they're

they're fat

already yeah so you know good for them i

don't know if i could actually

do that job be a santa because i'd find

myself becoming a little bit

too judgmental because when the kid sits

in my lap and i asked for an xbox series

x and look at his parents but yeah no

chance mate there's no way you're

getting it

you're gonna be lucky if you get like a

playstation two

right i'll be honest with you yeah yeah

i don't think i could do that job

because i couldn't lie to the kids like

that yeah let's just see what santa

brings you

yeah yeah wouldn't you rather have a

wooden horse

or a uh a nintendo nes

from a garage sale or a type or some

toast or something

yeah yeah yeah bag of doritos right yeah

actually again

so um i don't know what what's santa's

beard type called is that just known as

a full beard because it's just i think

that's a full beard

yeah that's what i because there's

almost no maintenance to it whatsoever

it's just

out there right it's loud it's proud

it's out there

exactly but you know even now you say

loud and proud it's going back to that

scene yeah

yeah be careful with that let's get away

from that

um so you know with different beard

types i mean everybody knows what the

goatee is

uh sideburns you know what sideburns are

and um oh do we know why they're called

sideburns

um because they grow on the side of your

face and if you set fire to them it

burns your face yeah no that makes sense

well actually they were named um after

that uh

what's his name oh ambrose ambrose

burnside the

american civil war dude no kidding yeah

so that's why they were called

sideburns because he used to have his

hair like that and they put them

sorry like that so so we got this dude

named

burnside yeah and then we call him sides

yeah yeah just trying to get somebody

got confused it's just trying to get a

little bit of

lystexia arrived

that's fine yeah well it works so later

on he can come back and sue for a design

pattern

you know i think with his last name and

say oh what's your name burnside

doesn't sound like anything like

sideburns to me right yeah

so uh there's the mutton chop which um

those of you don't know what mutton chop

is if you think of wolverine

the x-men oh yeah yeah and that's the

former sideburns because you kind of get

a little bit lazy it gets to the bottom

yeah what's it called what's the dude

that has been

playing wolverine hugh jackman huge app

yeah you think those are real yeah he's

a hairy man

oh you think you think he's really

growing that

or is he getting a little bit of

implanting no

he's got good hair and he said uh okay

so i'll give you that one i mean maybe

we're 100 wrong but

no i mean no but yeah no wolverine is a

good masculine type superhero

you know sure you know i mean he doesn't

need a disguise not like superman i mean

i i watched him well i say i've watched

it was on in the background the other

day accidentally the justice league

right and um i had superman on there

and obviously all of the variations of

superman have always been very

cleanly shaved right right facial hair

all this stuff yes superman never had a

mustache

i've never had a beard someone like you

know does he have any kind of hair

because

well i know he doesn't like it on his

head yeah like can

can he grow a bit the man of steel can

the man of steel grow beards

and so i'm going to have to go with no

because if he did would a razor be able

to shave his

face yeah oh wait yeah

you'd have to get some comic burp or

comic book nerds

to explain that well it's 20 20 and he's

still got a crap

haircut yeah that's true i mean i don't

know

let's just walk away from it that way so

anyway um

you know that mutton chop thing it was

called that because it resembles

you know a mountain chop of meat you

know where it's you know kind of thin at

the top and then

kind of oh okay yeah imagine sticking

out on the side of your face

no that makes sense so anyway that's

where it came from

but um you know despite

my laziness in actually having a beard

and you're deliberately having a beard

you must use more type of

products than i do yeah i'll say that

because i haven't

really used any at all on my beard as

such but i know you have

well you know i kind of got forced into

the whole growing a beard thing

and and keeping that uh for

i don't know two or three reasons uh

you know the wife doesn't want me to get

rid of it which

let's be honest i mean that's primary

reason

she likes it so i i've got to keep it i

mean if

if it was me i'd i'd you know be clean

shaving all the time

but that's kind of a pain because yeah

well exactly because then i would have

to shave

every day because the whole five o'clock

shadow thing yeah i'm i have the five

o'clock shadow

yeah exactly it's shortly afternoon yeah

you know everybody eats lunch then i get

shadow right

and so i've had the beard and i i keep

it trim but

yeah you do have to put

a little bit of effort into it nowadays

and there's lots of products out there

that you can use to

kind of tough your way through it if if

you want to call it that i mean

for years you didn't have any product

for a beard right i mean you had uh

what was the movie we were talking about

earlier a million

ways to die in the west yeah and they

joke about

oh you're gonna grow a mustache well

that's really expensive and then

and it's actually kind of funny to look

at that because

it's easy to grow a scraggly beard

and you know that's kind of popular

right now

you know you just grow this just nasty

looking beard or

whatever but uh no i

i've realized that yeah you

gotta get past certain parts when you

grow a beard so

let's say you're clean shaving right and

you decide okay i'm gonna grow the beard

in then you have the

the itching face yeah and the itching

phase

really sucks and you get dry skin yes

well you get the dry skin you're

constantly scratching your face

and everything and so there is a way

around that

which is beard oil and so

a lot of times you say well where do i

find beard oil well i'm about to tell

you but

then after that what if you can tough

your way through that which i mean it's

not that bad but

i mean if there's something you can use

to get you through that i mean

why not do it right yeah it's it's

simple and cheap

and and then you start getting the hair

in

and then you say well it's kind of

scraggly looking it's kind of nasty

looking and

you know you you go eat and you get food

caught in it or whatever and you you

want to groom it

you know can i get something to make

that look better yeah

there's a product for it so as we're

talking about

beards uh we we have a

partner that's a two beards club

it's two beards t-w-o

b-e-a-r-d-s dot club right

and they sell all these unique

items that are all handmade they make

this stuff themselves

and you use it to go ahead and take care

of your beard

and so they sent us some samples

and we said hey let's try this out so

i went ahead and tried it out and the

beard oil

i mean it that stuff's great the beard

butter it's even better now

here's the thing i will tell you this

the beard butter you got to be careful

with because when you

open that can of beard butter you're

going to want to eat it

because it it smells like a coconut

cookie

that the ones that they sent us so i

want to go over the samples that they

sent

us and the beard butter that they sent

us was

actually called hairy nuts

and they have some whimsical names for

this stuff right

so they sent this one called hairy nuts

and so i'm putting that on and i'm

saying to myself i don't know why they

called it hairy nuts what did you do

when you harry knucks don't say well no

no

we'll get there so so i

i put this on my beard and everything

and i'm literally asking the why

i'm like look you know this uh sponsor

of a podcast sent us

this you know beard better and beard oil

and this one's called

hairy nuts and i can't figure out why

this is called hairy nuts but it

it smells like a coconut cookie

my wife looks at me and she's like cuz i

cannot hear not because i'm not saying

harry

that's exactly what she said to me she's

like are you that's very

very clever it's like yeah it's a hairy

nut

are you that stupid i'm like well i

didn't think about it that way but

that makes sense yeah but uh it it

made everything soft yeah you know i i

liked it the

the beard oil that they sent us was

called

orgasmic shag which

in your world in the uk the word

yeah i mean that's that's a word

we don't use in the u.s yeah but you

have to remember like

shag also in england you talk about shag

carpets it was a carpet with a long

fibers well that was there

yeah but that's true over here too yeah

i mean

[Music]

i think they did a very good job with

kind of making names which

you first will read them and think oh

they're just trying to be crude but then

you're like

no this is actually really clever it is

it's really clever

and so i i've been using the product

that they sent us they

they sent us these two items and uh they

said hey

you know we're gonna send you guys a

couple of samples and

and try these out so i had them for

what a week yeah and and then i gave

them to you

and then you had them for a week but

during my week

i mean it the beard butter stuff i mean

soften my beard i i will tell you this

so it in full review of this

if you get one of the beard butters

you're gonna immediately go into it and

you're gonna try to use too much

so you the first time i used it i used

way too much

right you've really got to be sparingly

with this stuff

so i figured that out early on i was

like oh i used way too much the first

two times

it goes a long way and and honestly the

same with the beard oil

yeah because you you get a hold of a

product and you're like oh okay well i'm

gonna use a lot of this stuff and

you start doing that it's it you just

gotta back away from it and say i gotta

use this sparingly because a little bit

goes a long way

so so i use these two products and you

know

everything went well and i told you hey

you know

my week's up here you go you know and i

i i gave you the product but it softened

my beard

gotta be honest i mean it was kind of

nice uh

my wife lisa she was like well why are

you giving it to him you know why can't

you just keep it i might know

the agreement was you know where we live

yeah i'm stealing

yeah i was like i i said i'm going to

use it for a week and then i'm going to

pass it off

and everything but i mean all natural

ingredients

it was great stuff i mean it really was

great stuff

so then i passed it off to you and i'm

like okay

so here's what i did with the beard

butter here's what i did with the beard

oil

i'm not going to give you too much of a

you know a cheat sheet here but

here you go you give it a shot what do

you think well i

you know i think what a lot of people

miss about this type of product

because they think it's only if you

really have a beard right

but there's so many men you know

nowadays who shave their

heads oh that they don't use a product

to help you know soften the hair and

you know before you know i really

kind of um got used to shaving my head

with the raisins i always used to use a

trimmer right i just get it as close as

possible but then

i got to a point where i started using a

razor

and um you know because it obviously get

it closer

and it would feel you know it lasts

longer but

it would leave your head kind of like a

little bit irritated

red dry and stuff but using the oil well

well i don't have that problem right i

have a wonderful hair yeah

yeah but yeah actually i used i said i

didn't

bother using it on my face because i

just again i just still use a trimmer i

don't really often

shave with a razor on my face but yeah

using it on my head

i mean it was really good i mean i

didn't have any irritation there was no

redness

i had no dryness i mean so yeah you can

use these products to shave your head

they're not just for beards i mean they

do a very good job if you want to shave

you know your scalp and stuff and also

for those people

like we talked about earlier with the

manscaping you want to get rid of maybe

those people who want to you know shave

their legs and arms for whatever reason

this stuff will probably always it may

also be

very very you know right now

yeah but i i don't

wanna send this sponsor

down that well do you think

maybe there's also an untapped market

for

sweetism with the hairy women oh

maybe they can do a woman's line of this

product

yeah maybe they well they can take this

they can take the same product

and give it different names and charge

like 150 percent more

right yeah like gillette vanilla

companies yeah with women's raises

same product different color handle yeah

right that's next

three dollars yeah yeah make me make the

bottle pink

make the label purple and next thing you

know they make a lot of money yeah i

mean

no reason why they couldn't do this

there's no reason why you can't target

hairy-faced ladies as well yes yeah

well in this day you have to be

politically correct and you have to give

this to

everybody yeah so why not yeah

why not go ahead and do that so so yeah

we

we want to thank the guys at the two

beards

trading post and literally they make

their own stuff

and that's an important part of this

this is not something they're

importing from somewhere whatever

they're actually making it

it's a hundred percent natural

ingredients

and it it's it's good stuff so

we really want you to visit

two beards dot club t-w-o-b-e-a-r-d-s

dot club so when

we reached out to them we said hey you

know we want to try this stuff

out but if somebody hears this and they

say

hey we want to try this stuff out but

you know

everybody's looking for a deal right

so if you go on their website

twobeards.club

and enter a promo code

wolf shepard you get 10

off we don't get anything out of this

you know what our our deal was we're

gonna try this product or whatever

in in exchange we want to give the

listeners something that

that they can take advantage of so so go

in there

and pick out a couple of their items and

they ship it really quick all that good

stuff

and there's a coupon code deal in there

promo code in there

just type wolf shepard and you get 10

off so why not give it a shot i mean

especially if you're

already buying some kind of beard

product or whatever and they got lots of

stuff on their website

so check them out yeah and if you're a

hairy woman maybe give that a go as well

yeah

yeah we don't want to be exclusionary no

because we do not exclude her sweetism

yes absolutely not yeah we don't want to

do that no

so with that thanks for

tuning in to this episode of the wolf

and the shepherd we certainly appreciate

our friends at 2 beards trading post

once again that's

www.twobeards.club

and that's t-w-o-b-e-a-r-d-s

dot club use the promo code wolfe

shepard

get 10 off your order they've told us

they're gonna run that for a long time

so depending on when you're here in this

podcast whether it's uh

day of release or months from now

hopefully that

uh promo code is still up if it's like

two years from now when

it's taken you this long to hear it but

anyway

support these guys it it's good product

and we will

catch you on the next one